It's Not Just About Hair: The Painful Truth

Initially, I started this blog to promote natural hair and help other naturalistas discover their confidence to embrace themselves. We've talked about topics from frizz control to homemade hair regimens and while I hope you have been able to take away something from my posts there is one thing that everyone should know. This recent Natural Hair Movement isn't just a fad, like any other movement it has a painful past that has led to this uprising. There are countless stories, including my own experience (click here), that describe the harsh realities of living with natural hair in the US. It's not merely about how to style and what products to use, women of ethnic backgrounds have been influenced by society to have a negative perception of their natural hair texture. Ethnic women, specially black women, have adapted alterations of their natural hair to reflect this countries' ideal standard of beauty as Eurocentric. This representation of Eurocentric beauty as the ideal standard has excluded ethnic women's distinguishing features and has created a remarkable history of struggle and self-hatred. In the US, we try to evade the very topic that has led our country to much turmoil, but slavery plays a major role in this harsh reality. The notion of Eurocentric beauty doesn't begin or end with hair alterations, it extends to skin bleaching. While skin bleaching is depicted as the more extreme effect of self-hatred it goes hand to hand with chemical hair straightening. These ideals haven't naturally grown into society, they've been advertised by the media and to a certain degree have brainwashed us. The negative implications of ethnic textured hair have been implanted in us for years and this movement is the strive to break those barriers.

Early 20th century advertisement for bleaching cream

• Slavery. In the 1800s slaves were sold at auctions, priced by their physical appearance. The light-skinned, straight-haired slaves were sold at higher prices than the darker, coily/kiny-haired ones. This distinction between the two types of slaves known as "house-slave" vs "field-slave" internalized by blacks promoted that having coily/kinky hair and darker skin was less attractive and valueless.
• Hair alterations. In the late 1800s Annie Turnbo Pope Malone invented metal hot combs that were used to press and temporally straighten kinky hair. Her protege Madame C.J. Walker improved the invention by widening the teeth of the comb and started her own line of hair care products. Years later in the early 1900s, a German hairdresser Charles Nessler invented a chemical to permanent alter hair texture (perm) which would later be referred to as relaxers.

One of the first advertisements for relaxers

Looking back in history it is evident where it all began. While still promoting the Eurocentric beauty ideal, advertising reached many different mediums. In the 1959, Barbie emerged as young girls' idol of beauty with her long blonde hair and blue eyes. Eight years later Francie, the first black doll was introduced with Barbie. Unfortunately, Francie lacked any real ethnic characteristics other than her skin tone. It took Mattel 21 years to release the first black Barbie. Mattel isn't the only one guilty of the under-representation of ethnic woman. Television shows, movies, and magazines have continued this trend in generalizing beauty with this Eurocentric identity. It has been a long time coming for the Natural Hair Movement and it is with great hope that these biases will vanish.

To be clear, I'm not suggesting that every woman who choses to alter her natural hair has self-hatred. We all do it for different reasons, some consciously and others unconsciously. It's important to know that your features are what distinguish you as a woman and embracing them in their natural state is true confidence. We should uplift each other and inspire the upcoming generations to set their own standards. Don't allow others to define who you are and decide what's significant about your appearance. Whether its' long, short, curly, kinky, wavy, or straight love your hair because its' YOUR hair and YOUR power!

Signing off, a true naturalista.

Natural Hair In The Military: Then Vs. Now

There are many challenges for females serving in the military, hair being one of the main struggles for us naturalistas. Five years ago, I enlisted in the Navy and never imagined the amount of scrutiny I would receive for my hair. Before I went to boot camp I cut my hair into a short bob because the Navy required females with long hair to have short length hair while in training. My friend's mom warned me plenty of times it would be best if I took care of this before I left because the haircut given at boot camp would be a fast, unflattering cut. I asked her what hairstyle I should get since I wasn't allowed to bring anything with me to maintain my hair, her response was "cornrows, it's the only guaranteed hairstyle they'll allow". This didn't quite help me because I didn't know how to cornrow and my hair was relaxed so I never wore it in braids. I left for training right before Christmas and hours after arriving to Great Lakes I found myself sitting in a barber's chair, getting the worst haircut of my life. For weeks I had no hair products to moisturize my hair, the 10 minute showers left no time to try and protect it from getting wet. Ponytails weren't authorized so I struggled to keep it controlled while having to wear it out. This was only the beginning of my hair troubles in the military.

After graduating from boot camp, I headed to the fleet. Again, I found myself struggling with my hair because it was too short for a neat bun and too long to be worn down. Day after day I would be stopped by superiors and told "fix your hair shipmate". It was exhausting, so while at home on leave I received my first weave. I thought this would take the attention off my hair and allow it to grow so I could wear it in a neat bun. Boy was I wrong. The complaints ranged from the bulkiness of my hair to how my cover fit. It was a lose-lose situation, but I purchased a larger sized cover and that seemed to settle those problems (for the most part). Once my hair grew longer it was easy to pull the relaxed hair into a bun. Eventually, I started to resent the pressure to alter my hair to look like something it wasn't so decided to go natural. Any transition to natural hair is challenging, but I knew it would be 10 times harder in the Navy. There were many females at the time going through the same transition, some were even brave enough to do the big chop. Those who did the big chop received the most scrutiny, their hair would be constantly measured for bulkiness, some were told it looked unprofessional and matted, and others were suggested to wear weaves and wigs.  

I was leaving for a six month deployment so I needed to get a hairstyle that would last. Days before I shipped out I had senegalese twist done, as did many other females. By this time I was higher in the ranks so I knew that I had to ensure my cover fit, my bun wasn't too big in size, the hair wasn't too bulky and the list goes on. It wouldn't be the Navy if somebody didn't have something to say,  the hair's bulkiness was in regulations but now the bun stuck out too much. By now I was use to people stopping me to ask questions or make snide remarks about my hair so I kept the twist in until it was time for them to come out. This wasn't the case for the other sailors, some were forced to remove their hairstyle while others experienced emotional breakdowns. Younger sailors were intimidated, discouraged and overly frustrated with challenges on how to maintain their natural hair and stay within Navy regulations. The versatility of natural hair allows many different hairstyles which always brings attention. The problem is the military's grooming standards don't regard natural hair as professional and enforce biased regulations. 

After serving four years on active duty I decided to leave the service and invest in a career as a civilian. One of the greatest feelings I had about my decision was that I was no longer going to be subjected to these ignorant standards that disregarded my natural hair as "unprofessional" and "matted".

My story is relatable to many other females of ethnic backgrounds in the service. In 2014, the Army made changes to their regulations that specifically banned twists, dreadlocks, and large cornrows. These hairstyles are the most popular for naturalistas to wear to maintain and care for their hair. In response to the backlash from the public, the policy was sent to the House of Representatives for review. Recently, the Navy has made changes to the hair regulations. 

Two strand braids (a type of twist) are authorized. Braided hairstyles shall be conservative and conform to the grooming standard guidelines. 

In addition the Navy launched a Female Pilot Program in January, which removed the requirement for females to cut their hair in bootcamp. Instead they will be trained how to properly groom long hair according to Navy standards.

It is unfortunate that it took national backlash for these issues to be addressed, but these changes have shown how the military is attempting to make progress. I'm hopeful that sailors and other service members in the upcoming years will not have to experience the scrutiny I did for my natural hair.

Signing off, a true naturalista.

Dads Can Do Hair Too!

Taking care of your little girl's natural hair can be quite the task, especially for dads. Whether you're a single dad, dad on duty, or just helping mommy, knowing how to do your princess' hair is a must. I know this thought terrifies most dads, but it's a good way to get some father-daughter bonding time. If you have more than one girl, it would be especially helpful to have some tricks up your sleeves. There are three basic hairstyles that seem to be the easiest for men to do. Like everything else in your life, practice makes perfect so don't beat yourself up if the first couple of times your hairstyle doesn't look the way mom's hairstyle does.

1. Beginner hairstyle: the ponytail. This is the most basic hairstyle that I encourage dads to master. The technique will include a brush, water, (varies, ask mommy's permission), and an elastic tie. Simply gather all of the hair, brush it back and wrap the elastic tie around the hair. Be sure the ponytail isn't too tight because it can cause a headache and pull the hair out. In the beginning most "daddy tails" are loose so you won't have to worry about that. 
2. Intermediate hairstyle: the pigtails. This is a classic variation of the ponytail. You'll need a brush, a comb, water (again, varies), and two elastic ties. Starting from the front of her head (in between the eyebrows) make a part with the comb straight down the middle of her head. This will take more than one time to get a decent part, but be patient. Once you are satisfied with the straight part, put one section of the hair in an elastic tie. Now just as if you were doing a ponytail gather the hair, brush it back and wrap the elastic tie around the hair. You'll do the same to the other side and there you have pigtails! For your little girl's sake, make sure the pigtails are even and not lopsided (she'll tell if they are anyway). 
3. Advanced hairstyle: the two strand twist. Little girls love twist, she'll be delighted that you've learn how to do them for her. You'll need ponytail equipment and accessories for the ends of her hair (barrettes, bows, etc.). Once you've gotten the ponytail technique under your belt you can start to make smaller sections, maybe three to four. Make each section into a ponytail, separate the hair into two pieces and twist them around each other. End it by putting a barrette or other accessory at the end to ensure her hair doesn't unravel. Repeat for each section you made.

Each of these can be combined with hair accessories to glamorize your little girl's hairstyle. Invest in headbands, barrettes, bows, hair knockers and plenty of elastic ties. Believe me, it gets better and easier as you get more experience with her hair. My brother struggled with doing my niece's hair when her mom deployed, but eventually he reached the advanced level and mastered the two strand twist. 

Mini two strand twists in pigtails.

She loves her daddy's hairstyle!

Once he mastered the two strand twists, my brother started doing mini twists so her hairstyle could last longer. This week long (sometimes longer) hairstyle was the answer to his struggle. As for my niece, she enjoyed the different hair accessories added to the hairstyle. Dads don't be scared, you can do it!

Signing off, a true naturalista.

Don't Touch My Hair!

I've had many awkward hair moments. The one encounter most of us naturalistas have experienced is when a random person asks to touch your hair. I couldn't even count how many times that question has been asked by someone of little or no association with me. If you're not familiar with this scenario I'll run it down for you. While minding your own business, a random person approaches you and says "oh my gosh can I touch your hair?" Meanwhile you're in the process of saying "no", but their fingers have already made it to your hair. Don't get me wrong it can be flattering when it comes with a compliment, but for the most part this "petting" moment is awkward and annoying.

Why do people do this? I'm still not sure why others feel the need to express their curiosity by "petting". I understand that natural hair is interesting and attention grabbing, but do us all a favor and keep your hands to yourselves. What's the big deal? Let's be clear, this is a violation of personal space when you don't get permission. Furthermore, naturalistas are not a special type of breed. We do not enjoy the "polite pet" as if we are animals at the zoo. Sorry, I know natural hair is fascinating but the dozens of rude people before you ruined it. So no, you cannot touch my hair!

For all my naturalistas who understand my exasperation, this one is for you.

Signing off, a true naturalista.

Special Q & A With My Hair Crush

We all have our hair crushes. You know, the women who we follow on social media to admire their strands and inspire us to get our hair game up. I've been fortunate enough to have a Q & A with my hair crush, the beautiful Shayla Courtney of @Loclivin. 

@iamshaylacourtney

Q: When and why did you decide to go natural? 

A: I went natural 7 years ago because I was natural when I was younger, after putting a relaxer in my hair it wasn't as healthy anymore. I decided to stop getting relaxers so my hair could grow back healthy. 

Q: How did you transition? 

A: I wore braids for a year and then I chopped off the rest of the relaxer. 

Q: What made you continue the natural journey? 

A: It was an emotional and mental commitment for me. I wanted locs and I did what it took to get there.  

Q: Why did you decide to start locs after going natural? 

A: I was going through a transition in my life and I wanted the experience of being committed to something. The spiritual journey of not cutting anything off from myself symbolizes my hair. My hair is my crown. It has been a journey, its taught me patience. 

Q:What are some of your favorite naturalista hair care products? 

A: Jamaican Black Castor Oil, Coconut Oil, Dark and Lovely. I use mostly oils. Anything that isn't going to cause excessive build-up.

Q: Was it difficult having locs and working in a "corporate America" environment? 

A: Most of the time my locs were in curls and my co-workers did not know that my hair were actually locs. I did have a co-worker ask me "do you have locs like Bob Marley". That was interesting.  

Q: How do you feel going natural has affected other aspects of your life?
 

A: Well dating, men are attracted to my locs. Its been interesting how many men are attracted to locs, its made my dating score card more diverse. Men in general are attracted to long hair.

Q:How do you feel about faux locs? 

A: I hate them. I find it insulting a little. Just how we talk about people appropriating black culture, people are now appropriating loc life. I've been on this journey for 4 years and you sat down in a chair for a couple of hours, it's insulting.  

Q: What advice do you have for women looking to embark on the naturalista journey? 

A: Take your time, do your research and enjoy the process. 

The journey to natural hair is no joke. After my Q & A with Shayla I reflected on how important my transition was and how it has affected my emotional and mental state. Being able to be apart of natural hair communities can really contribute to this aspect, women have support and are uplifting one another. While every naturalista has her own journey, it's similar to many others. By sharing our stories and experiences we are building a strong foundation for the natural hair lifestyle.

    Signing off, a true naturalista.

Beautiful. Confident. Natural.

Whether you're transitioning or already completely natural it takes self-confidence to rock your curls, waves, kinks, or coils. While that is much easier said than done, it's important for every naturalista to find the beauty of her hair. Embracing your strands makes the day easier. Once you build your confidence and feel comfortable wearing your natural hair you'll inspire other naturalistas to do the same. How do you get this confidence? Well it isn't easy, but I'm going to share a few pointers that helped me.

1. Self-talk. This whole process starts with you, so push all of the negative thoughts out and replace them with positive talk. Don't let these thoughts defeat, your hair is makes you an individual.
2. Stop investing in other people's opinions. People will always have their opinion, but it's not to up to you to stock them in your thoughts and feelings. Leave the negative comments and snide remarks at the door.
3. Build/find a support network. You're not the only one going through this, if you don't have any friends or family that are natural venture out to blog communities. It's important to have a positive support system.
4. Be enlightened. Knowing the ins and outs of a natural hair lifestyle will lead to plentiful happy hair days. Be an expert of taking care of your hair. Learn how to do different hairstyles and build your skill level so your hair becomes less of a hassle.

Be confident, embrace your hair and all that comes with it. Finding "hair-esteem" is all up to you, it's something every naturalista needs.

How To Make A D.I.Y Deep Conditioner

Moisturize, moisturize, moisturize. It's simple, your hair needs moisture and the only way to ensure those strands are healthy is to take all the steps of proper care. Deep conditioning is an essential step of this process. You should regularly deep condition your hair to help its elasticity, moisture and overall health. Depending on how frequently you wash your hair, deep conditioning should be combined with every wash. Just about every hair care brand has its own deep conditioner and there are countless complex recipes floating around on the internet. Don't waste your time. Making your own deep conditioner is as easy as 1, 2, 3. Here are the steps to a simple AND effective D.I.Y deep conditioner.

What you will need:

• 1 mashed avocado
• 2 tablespoons of honey (pure or organic)
• 1 tablespoon of oil (avocado or extra-virgin olive oil)
• Plastic conditioning cap

Step 1: Ensure your avocado is mashed very well so it's not too clumpy. Add the avocado and other ingredients into a blender, let it mix until it's smooth. 

Step 2: Once smoothly mixed, add the conditioner to your wet hair and put your cap on. You should let the ingredients sit for a minimum of 45 minutes. 

Step 3: Thoroughly rinse the conditioner out. 

And there you have it, 3 easy steps and very cheap ingredients to make your homemade deep conditioner. Avocados are rich in vitamins, oleic acid, and other essential fatty acids that help treat your hair. Honey is a natural humectant, combined with other natural oils such as olive or avocado oil it helps your hair retain its moisture and strengthen hair follicles. Deep conditioning is an easy process, all you need are a few ingredients to help your hair maintain its "life".

    Signing off, a true naturalista.